Our First Year

Its been a crazy couple months in the Cope house.

Trips to Vegas, Thanksgiving, Christmas now New Years is sneaking up...

But today is the day I'm going to post about.

Our One Year Anniversary

Exactly two years ago Mr Cope and I went on our very first date. A blind date, set up by his sister whom I worked with. I remember how cold it was, and how nervous I felt. I was going back to Australia so I really didn't have plans to fall for an American, but the butterflies were definitely present that day. I remember pulling up into the parking lot where we decided to meet and just wanting to turn around and drive home. Then I saw him. He came up, introduced himself and hugged me. He was friendly, warm and cuter than what I had expected. I stayed. The rest of the night is kinda a blur. I think I talked his ear off... and made a fool of myself in front of his friends playing some smurf game..

 

But he asked me out again anyway.

And again.

And again.

Until one day I was his girlfriend.

 

We dated for 8 months until the big question came my way. I never thought I would be one of THOSE girls who said yes after just a few short months of knowing someone. In fact I remember having a conversation with my mum who asked me this exact thing and telling her I would just flat out reject him if he asked me before we had been dating for a least a year.

 

That morning we were up before the crack of dawn and set out to hike Mt. Timpanogos together. It is a massive 11,749ft hike which would take us 6 hours just to reach the top.

 

 

 He was being his cute Alex self, picking flowers for me all the way up and not complaining at all if I was going slow in the steep parts.

 

 

 

 When we finally reached the top we sat down on the front of the mountain and looked over Utah Valley.

 

 

As I was enjoying the view, Alex said he was uncomfortable and asked if we could move somewhere where there wasn't as much people. I was tired and didn't want to get up so said no. He kept asking, so we finally moved over to the back of the mountain. After sitting there for a while he looks over me and tells me he loves me. Then he said I had to close my eyes because he had something to give me. I thought it was just another flower and I was thinking that was kinda cute. I really had no idea what was coming. He then put the box in my hand, and told me to open my eyes. This beautiful ring was sitting in this black box just staring up at me. He asked me if I would marry him and I just stared at him and started crying. Then he started crying and we hugged. I told him that meant a yes because I realized I hadn't said anything yet in over a minute. Poor guy. But hey, we were engaged!

By the time we reached the bottom of the mountain I had 3/4 of our wedding planned.

 

 

 

 

 

We picked the 29th of December for our Wedding day. Mainly so all the family could be together at Christmas time. It was the COLDEST day of my life. But still the best.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This past year I have grown more than any other year in my life. Alex has shown me kindness, generosity, patience, understanding, support, gratitude and above all love every single day, even through the tough times. I love him to death and even past it. He is my best bud. The memories we have made together will be with us forever.

 

 

 

 

I LOVE YOU ALEX BRANDON COPE!! TO ETERNITY AND BEYOND!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Confessions of a Comparer

 

Looking back is a funny thing. I am able to see how every single puzzle piece of my life has fallen into place, everything leads up to something and it all eventually works out. I wish I could have that same assurance right now. Our life is amazing, there is not one thing I could complain about or alter to make better. But that's not to say it isn't tough. We face trials both individually and as a couple, but right now it seems like everything is weighing in on us. It feels like even the small decisions that are before us could heavily influence our future. Whether we keep renting where we are, whether to travel more before we buy a house, where to buy a house, when we should have babies, where I should apply to school..  

 

I'll be honest, it can get depressing when I look around and I see everyone accomplishing their goals and I feel like I somehow got left behind somewhere, like I missed out on some important step that they all took. I have friends that are designing and building their own houses! Having babies, travelling all over the planet, getting their dream jobs. I have friends from all walks of life yet they all seem so much further ahead on the path than me.

 

Ever since I was little I have spent way too much time comparing myself to others. I have no idea why I do this. I think it's a built-in thing in all women.  It uses up so much energy and is such a terrible thing to do. I have found myself wishing I was more outgoing, in better shape, craftier, smarter, prettier, more musical, funnier, etc etc etc.

 Sometimes people tend to glamorize life and it can really make you feel like you aren't doing enough. 

 

 

It makes me wonder where society has developed this sense of the ideal person.

 

 

A couple years ago I had my life laid out, everything in its place and going its course. I was going to travel, to Ireland, Greece and Egypt. I was going to finish my Bachelor's Degree and be an Elementary school teacher. I was going to own a house on the beach and eat fish and chips with gravy for the rest of my life while riding off into the sunset.  I had so many more ideals in my head that I just assumed would be part of my life. I was wrong.

 

I never planned on Alex.

 

I mean, of COURSE I wanted to get married and everything, but still seemed like so far away.. Life really puts you in your place sometimes just when you seem to have things figured out.

He is in school right now and because it's so expensive I have to wait until he is done to go back and finish my own.

I admit this used to make me bitter.

All I could focus on was the fact that I gave up everything to come here and marry him and how inconvenient and upsetting it was to put my life on hold for him.

I got angry and jealous that he could see the light at the end of the tunnel and that he was leaving me behind too. Poor Alex had no idea what was going on in my head until it all came out one day.

He thanked me over and over again for all the work I was doing to put him through school and how much it meant to him. I felt like a horrible person... I had such a selfish influence on our marriage, and immediately changed my perspective.

I realized it was my problem. It wasn't Alex's and it wasn't anybody else's. It was up to me to change my way of thinking and to improve my outlook. I should be proud of the things I have accomplished. I should be confident in who I am both physically and mentally. I have found the less time I spend focusing on myself and comparing myself the more time I have to improve myself and improve my relationship with those around me, especially Alex. When I focus on serving others I think less about myself and in turn I am much happier. 

 

 

 

It truly is an honor to be working to put Alex through school. He is working 65 hours a week (40 student teaching 25 serving), trying to bring in money and set us up for the future all at the same time. I have it so much easier than him and yet I still found a way to make it all about myself. I still feel so guilty that I ever thought that way. Alex is amazing to me, I cant ever let myself get in the way of noticing this with my selfish, bitter thoughts.

 

 

But now I've realized something I've always known, I would rather be struggling with Alex down a seemingly endless road than by myself ticking off some list I made when I was 14.

It's about taking one little baby step at a time, even if it all seems pointless and unrewarding. Every little step adds up and before you know it you're on a path that is better than any you could have dreamed up 10 years ago.

 

 

Our happiness in life and marriage should never come from checking off our list of "things to do before I die". You're always exactly where you are meant to be, so find joy in the moment instead of sittin, waitin and wishin. There really is no wrong answer.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THE BIG 2 4

I have had the BEST birthday ever! Alex sure does know how to spoil his woman..
 

(P.S I got a fancy new camera from Al!!! So Of course I took photos of EVERYTHING)

 

He started out with decorating the house with streamers

 

 

Made me delicious Vanilla French Toast

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Had My favourite flowers anonymously delivered to me (Thanks Rob!)

 

 

 

 

 

Then we went to Mt Timpanogus Temple to do some sealings.

 

 

And had fun taking photos

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Then had lunch

AND TOOK MORE PHOTOS!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

" 

 

 

Funny story- Alex planned this WHOLE day as a surprise to me. He did everything I liked that he could possibly fit into the day. I don't deal well with surprises. for weeks leading up to my birthday I kept asking him to just tell me what we were doing. He is way to stubborn.
Anyway, as we were out for lunch, I was trying to get out of him where we were going for dinner. After guessing practically everything and getting no reaction, we changed the subject.
A few minutes later he was telling me that he completely forgot to get a cake for me. I told him that maybe at dinner we can just get dessert and stick a candle in it, same thing.
He then replies- "But its Indian, what will they have?"
Yeah... way to slip up there hun...
We were laughing forever on that one
Such a Dodo bird...
 

 

 

 

So....Then we went out to Indian with my family!

 

 

 

AND OPENED PRESENTS!!

 

 

Alex took me to see ENDER'S GAME just to top off the most

PERFECT DAY EVER

Gosh darn I love him

 

 

 

It was 66 degrees yesterday, sunny and beautiful.

Today it is snowing outside.

Coincidence?

I THINK NOT

Utah was wishing me a happy birthday :) maybe we can be friends after all...

 

 

 

 

Maygan the Mis-Fit

So honestly, I've always felt like I just didn't quite fit into my surroundings. I always stood out- and not in the good kind of way. I am Australian- born and bred and damn proud of it. I am also LDS. Mormon. Doorknocker. Brainwasher.

I've heard them all.

 Australia is known for its beauty and friendly occupants. It is not, however, known for its open acceptability of religion. The culture down there is beer, swear, drink more beer and swear a little more. Trust me, people notice when you don't join in. Sometimes people would be accepting and ask genuine questions as to why I was always the sober designated driver, why I wore such conservative clothes or why I wasn't allowed to have a boyfriend before I was 16. Other times I would be criticized, insulted or just flat out dismissed as a mis-fit. It hurt. I grew a backbone. Then accidentally became desensitized to everything going on around me in hopes of blending in for once. I stopped being open about my religion and started laughing at their jokes about my lifestyle, apologizing for it and slowly adapting their lifestyle in an attempt to divert their attention away from my beliefs. 

It still didn't work. Living in a small country town you tend to make some sort of name for yourself and because I was famous for my goody-two-shoes ways people seemed to always be watching waiting for me to slip up so they could call me out. 

Now I made a lot of shameful decisions back then in my desperate attempts to change my image to impress those around me. It sounds so high-school but its crazy the kind of tricks your mind plays on you when youre trying to make decisions.
You can justify just about anything if you want it bad enough.
 I left the church for a while and I am not proud of the things I accomplished in that period of my life.

I hung out at all the wrong places




I dressed just that little bit more revealing than my dad would have liked..


 This was my scene.


Although I wasn't doing anything 'Wrong', I wasn't doing anything Right either...
I didn't go to church. I never touched my scriptures. I rarely prayed. My testimony was a dim spark where a raging fire had once been. I was hardly ever home with my family and caused my mother to grow a million gray hairs while she waited up until 5am to hear my car pull into the driveway after a night out with my friends.
I didn't see this life as being bad. I had so much fun with my friends, watching them do crazy drunk things then watching them blush from head to toe when I told them all about it the next day as they were nursing a hangover. I felt like I belonged. And I liked that feeling. I stayed in this empty hole of temporary happiness so long that I forgot what it felt like to have true joy. The meaningful, lasting kind. At one stage I was in such a bad place spiritually that I lost all my feeling. I didnt feel happy. I didnt feel sad. I didnt feel guilty and I didn't feel proud. I just didn't feel.


I had officially lost the spirit and I had no idea where to go. Then one day the happiness and thrill I once felt from hanging out with the 'wrong crowd' as the church always called it had gone.
One day a friend from my ward invited me over. I went, mainly because I had run out of excuses not to. She didn't judge me, she never even talked about the life I was living. Instead, she told me about her life experiences before the church and really opened up. It hit me hard. I felt something I hadn't felt in a long time. I felt ashamed. She told me she was mainly telling me this because she couldn't stand seeing my parents the way they were anymore.
I had broken my parents hearts and I could see that. I love my family and it hurt soooo much to be disappointing them with my choices. She told me I needed to come back to church. Pretty firmly actually. She told me to "fake it till you make it". It turned out to be one of the best pieces of advice anyone could ever give me.

I went back that Sunday. I could feel peoples eyes on me, secretly judging me, but I stayed anyway. I continued to go. But what really changed my perspective was my best friends wedding. She had been struggling with the church at the same time I was. I should have been there to support her, but instead I went my own selfish way.
She ended up back at church before me. Started dating a guy, fell in love and got married in the Melbourne temple.




The look in her eye that day was one I had never seen. She was radiating pure joy, and the look her husband was giving her was one of pure love. It was then that I set in my heart the desire of my own to kneel across the alter from my husband and be married for time and all eternity.




I have never been prouder of anyone in my whole life.

Since that moment, life has still thrown me insane curveballs that make me question and doubt the strength of my own testimony way too often.

But I did it.

I married this amazing young man, with the biggest heart of gold in the Salt Lake Temple just 10 months ago.




And he looks at me the way I had always dreamed.


I know now more than ever that all the quenching and tempering I have gone through I have become stronger than I could have ever imagined. I'm not afraid of what I believe anymore. I'm not afraid of the tormenting questions that come from people who are just trying to cut deep inside. I'm not ashamed of being LDS. I am happier than I could have ever though possible, and I know that its all through the atonement. It's the real kind of happiness, not the temporary kind. I don't care if all my Australian friends think I'm talking Mormon brainwashing rubbish. I know for myself that what I believe is true, and I'm never going to be afraid to admit that again. I still have so much to learn, I don't think I'll ever have the answers to every question and I don't expect to. I have started an eternal family, and I don't ever want to let anything get in the way of that. Bring on the trials, heartbreaks and tough decisions. I have an amazing man to walk through this with and together nothing will beat us.

That is exactly why we will always Cope Side-By-Side






http://mormon.org/what-do-mormons-believe

 

Sacrifice Now- Security Later?

TONIGHT WE CUT UP OUR CREDIT CARDS

I know.. Insane..

Let me back up and explain..

Tonight was our regular scheduled date night. We went out for a lovely dinner down to a pretty pricey but wonderful Italian Restaurant around the corner from us. After, we decided to go to Barnes & Noble and snoop around in a world of wonderful literature. I headed off to the kids book section and Alex went to the finance section. Yeah, we're kinda different that way..

Anyway, as we were sitting side by side, me with my book about a bear and a koala and Alex with his budget book, he turns to me with a serious face and says "Maygs, let's go home and cut up our credit cards"

I just laughed told him he is insane and brushed it off. But he continued. He said that if we paid for everything with cash instead it hurts more so we spend less. Even gave me a study with real statistics to try convince me. Make sense? totally... So we did this

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Now we aren't dumb with our money. We work hard, pay our bills and save where we can. So ok, we might spoil ourselves a litttlleeee too much.. Like going out to eat a million times more than cooking at home.. But overall we have a good comfortable life, good credit and good sense. So what would make him want to cut up our credit cards? So we can make a start towards a debt-free life. No more indulging  in credit card luxuries, no more justifying purchases, just plain old simple living. I have no idea how he convinced me to do this, but now I'm kind of excited about it! I love having a smart man to look after my future. Nice job honey ;)

An Ode to My Mother

Those who know me know I live for buying presents. If someone's looking sad, they have a box of see's candy coming their way. If I go on a trip away, one suitcase is going to be filled for things I've found to give to people. Christmas- don't even get me started. I was caught at work a month ago whistling Christmas tunes and then viciously scolded for it. I love itttt! And today's occasion was babies being born. Two of our co-workers have had babies recently and I'd honestly take any excuse to drag Alex down those isles full of tiny people clothes. Last night at work one of them brought their baby in. She is tiny! She was born premature at 2 pounds 10 ounces. She is the most beautiful little thing in the entire world! As a bunch of us were standing around I guess I was becoming that crazy baby lady because for the rest of the night I was getting picked on. Poor Alex was copping it too.

"Maygan needs a baby Alex"

"Geez you guys should just have one already!"

"Why don't you have one yet?"

"So, when are you going to have one?"  I wink and reply 'hopefully 9 months from this morning' to which they laugh, and go about their duties.

These questions come up ALL the time. From friends, from family, from people I just met. Perfect example was a couple weeks ago while talking to a friend through a facebook message. After the usual hi how are ya what's new questions it was a whopping SO YOU PREGNANT YET?

I guess now that we kissed in a tree, fell in love and have gotten married, the next thing to come is the baby in the baby carriage. Right?

Want to know my real answer to all these questions? Because I'm terrified.

I'm terrified of one day trying and finding out I'm unable to have one

I'm terrified to be responsible to such a fragile dependent thing

I'm terrified I wont be enough

I'm terrified of bringing my child into such a ferocious and judgemental world

I'm terrified that I'll somehow not be Maygan anymore- that I'll transform into 'this persons mum' or 'that guy's wife'

I'm terrified that others will always be judging the way I raise them

I'm terrified of 100 million more things that are both unthinkably ridiculous and absurd!

 And I'm sure every person with the desire to have a family feels this way.. I feel like I'm kinda selfish :( but even though I adore kids and babies I'M NOT READY YET. One day I will be.. But I have no idea when...

 

I mean how do you know? Is there ever going to be a right time?  How do you get over the fear of things to come when you become a parent? The fighting, the pain, having to watch bad decisions being made and know that you cant help?

And that's when I think about my mother.

 

 

 

 

Meet my mother, Melodi Jo Mits. I adore her.

 

My mum had two kids at my age. She had it rough. She met my dad while he was serving his mission in California. He thought she was cute. She liked his accent. It wasn't until my grandpa told my dad that my mum thought he had the 'face of a koala and butt of a kangaroo' that the chemistry started. When he was transferred to a different area she sent him presents (including an adorable stitched pillow that still lives in their house) and he send her tape recordings of his voice. I listened to one once. He was so cute to her :) When he returned home to Australia, he worked "Kangaroo Butt" off and bought a ticket back to see her. After a month they were engaged. Dad claims she never actually said 'yes', but instead listed off all the names they were going to call their kids. Cute. Anyway, they got married in the L.A temple, returned to Australia with $11 and lived  as far out in woop woop as you can imagine in a tiny wood shack.

 

 

Dad was in the police academy and was away in the city all the time. Mum got lonely. So she had me 9 months later. 

A year and a half later she had my sister Maryse. This is her at my age.

 

 

 

She then went on to have 3 more kids. One with ADHD.

Now I was an awful teenager. Ill admit it. We would fight all the time. I broke her heart and I am so ashamed of myself for that. But she stuck by me through everything and I now consider her one of my best friends. For real.

 

I look at her in amazement.

She has been victim to being alone, hurt, scared, broken, torn apart, abused, shut down, disappointed and soooo much more. I guess all this comes with being a mother. But she has never turned her back on any of us. Instead she continues to love us more unconditionally than we sometimes deserve.

 

 

She is also the reason we are all here in Utah.

My mother is always singing. From opera in the kitchen to solos at Christmas concerts. She has the voice of an angel (when she is not singing opera)

And she dreams of being in the Mormon Tabernacle Choir.

 

In order to do that you need to live within 100 miles of Salt Lake City. Hence their current location of Saratoga Springs.

 

Moving your family half way across the world is no easy feat. We packed 22 years worth of life into a tiny shipping container and sent it overseas. There was a house to be bought, a job to find and cars to purchase. They literally had to start over.

She constantly doubts herself and asks me if she did the right thing. Hey, I met Alex from this so I'm not complaining. But things have been tough here for them. Money sucks. Family issues have arisen. And its hard to see her question her decisions!

I respect her so much in the fact that she chose to follow her dreams. This is what sacrifice looks like. I am so lucky to have her as a role model in my life.

She has shown me what blessing can come from having kids, what love can be felt and what wonderful experiences can be had from being a mum.

 

 

  

I know that everyone's "right time" is different.. but I figure if I can pattern my life after the example she has set for me I can deal with it when it comes. I guess she proves how silly my fears really are. She makes me not as afraid. 

I just hope that when the time comes I can be as tough as her.

 

 

Our Curse

Meet our Upstairs Neighbour

 

 

 

 

Ok, so I've never actually met him. But this is the only rational image I can make of him at 3am every morning as he is stomping around above us. It's like a nocturnal elephant cross with an earthquake. What does he DO up there all night???

 

 

Funny thing is that we moved out of our basement apartment for this exact reason. The upstairs kitchen was right above our bedroom and at 6.30 in the morning their 2 year old would bounce this plastic ball, over and over and over again. Even after talking to them about it, it continued. So we moved.

 

 

I think we are cursed.
 

 

Now I get that we are still newlywed and all that.. everyone has their horror stories of the early years. Bare cupboards, old broken down car that has to be shared, having to live in their parent's basement. Alex and I are super fortunate in that we can live quite comfortable with such nice things. We appreciate this all the time. I guess we just have to suffer in other ways...

Now our apartment is tiny. 600sq ft leaves much to be desired. Our vacuum cord can reach every room without needing to unplug. True story.

 But it suits us pretty well for now. Sure, it makes me antsy sometimes when I want to cook a nice dinner and I have like 2 inches space on my bench to cook in. Or when Alex is bored and he follows me around and there is not enough space to do anything in. But I think we will look back on this place and smile. Even about the Bigfoot upstairs.

 

FALL BREAK!

I LOVE BEING MARRIED

I love that we can go away just because

and that is just what we did for Fall Break
 To this place

Alex and I stayed here on our honeymoon before we went on our cruise. It is the best little bed and breakfast you ever did see.





They even put your name on the door!
and decorate your pillow with utah truffles

It has the cutest little details all over the grounds. Including cake that sits on a glass stand that you can help yourselves to anytime you feel.

The Company was alright too

We came across a paddleboat

So we took a ride in it

As I was lovingly looking over at my husband, I started screaming and freaking out. There was a massive spider on his neck! Alex was freaking out because he had no idea what I was freaking out about until I finally managed to squeak out 'SPIDER!' 

After he successfully got rid of it the swarm came. There were spiders everywhere! So we paddled back lightning fast and ran back inside. Note to self: Check out the abandoned paddle boat before stranding yourself in the middle of a lake.

On our way home we stopped at one of my favourite places in Midway. They sell the best chocolate milk possibly in the world. Oh and Jam! And of course cheese! We got some of everything for our roadtrip home. I told Alex Midway is the only place I would compromise living in Utah for. It reminds me so much of my hometown in Australia! Tiny general store, adorable little houses with horses, Cows as your neighbors... But i married a city boy. He just gave me that 'yes honey' smile and continued driving. :(

Utah in the fall is beautiful. There is every kind of brown green and orange to be seen on the mountains. Alex said it looked like a "bowl of soggy fruit loops". He looks at the world with such romantic eyes.

After we got home we quickly got changed and rushed on up to Salt Lake City to join my sister for her first trip to the temple. She turned 12 a month ago. It was too exciting to miss. I had been inside the baptistry of the Salt Lake City Temple only once before in my life, when I was 16 on a family trip to the US. I had forgotten how beautiful it was inside. 

This is Mariah. She can be kinda cute when she wants to be. 

This is my father mother and bro Myles. Times spent with this bunch are never ever boring. (FACT: my hair was that red once too. And my sister Maryse's still is haha)

After this we headed straight for Wendover! Blasphemous, I know... My justification is that if it helps us bond and work together it cant be all bad right?

On the way we stopped off to check out the salt flats. 

Salt as far as the eye can see! I had to firmly convince Alex not to take off and drive all over them. So he licked them instead. Yeah, I married a clown.

Our fun trip away ended with an extra $100 in our pockets, and empty tank of fuel and a bunch of fun memories. And that ladies and gentleman, is why I love marriage.