Baby Update

So I'm officially overdue.. and I'm not handling it very well..

I thought for sure baby Allira would be out of my tummy and in my arms by now but it seems I am making her stay way more comfortable than I anticipated!

Every morning I wake up disappointed she didnt come overnight and yet hopeful that today may be the day, only to go to bed every night on the verge of tears/in tears because I have to face yet another uncomfortable, sleepless night with no signs that this baby will be making her exit soon.

I went to bed in tears last night, my poor husband :( as we were laying in bed he just says "I have no idea what I can do to help so I'm just going to hug you and tell you I love you so much ok? And that you're a trooper. And that baby loves you too." Which made me cry even more. I'm so glad I have such a good man to help me through this. He has been so patient and awesome especially when I feel like chocolate at 10pm and he runs to the store to get it for me or my back hurts and he drops what he is doing to give me a massage. Yeah, I married an ok guy. And he is going to be the best dad in the world. This baby just needs to be born already to make him one!

 

 

I have literally tried every old wives tale there is in hopes they might be real

Pineapple (in gigantic amounts)

Bananas

Warm baths

Spicy food

Walking at least 5 miles a day

Accupressure

A few other things I dont feel comfortable announcing to the public

Galloping (like an idiot thanks Maryse haha)

Stair climbing

Squatting

Bouncing on the bed

I even went out and specifically bought a birthing ball to bounce on in hopes that might work... Nothing.

 

I'm so sad that I even have to stay far away from facebook as people keep asking me where this baby is at and I'm scared that because it makes me so frustrated I'll say something mean back. But really guys, no one wants her out more than me! And you will KNOW when she comes, so please stop making me feel more miserable than I already do.

 

On top of all of these things my mum is here visiting and has been for a week and a half now. She has a flight home on Saturday night. She spent so much money and gave up her time to be here for the birth and now- nothing! I think this is the biggest blow of all. My doctor offered a while ago the option to be induced once I hit 39 weeks but I want to do this naturally so badly that I told her I would wait. A week and a half ago Alex came with me to my appointment. I wasnt dilated at ALL and she said my cervix was still only medium softened and baby was still a while away. She suggested inducement again as I was visibly miserable at the news but we decided we would wait another week and see if there was any progression. At my appointment on Monday I was 1/2 a centimeter dilated, 50% effaced and finally starting to soften. Doc said she could be a day away, or 2 weeks. There is no way to tell as every woman progresses differently. We decided we would hold off on the decision to induce until Thursday and see how I felt.

 

 

Today is Wednesday.

 

 

Yesterday my mum and I walked over 7 miles in the freezing cold winter weather to see if that would help. Thats a LONG way when you're 9 full months pregnant!! All i got from it was one strong contraction (I could still talk through the pain) and a stuffy nose. Braxton Hicks have been consistent but not intensifying.

 

 

 

I feel the deepest disappointment, impatience, heartbreak and anxiety for my lack of baby today.

And if I decide to be induced tomorrow I'll have to use some kind of balloon device to mechanically dilate me for 12 hours, then they give me the pitocin and we see how that goes.. If my body still refuses to go into labor I will need an emergency c-section. So even if things do go well with inducing there is still a chance I will be in hopsital when my mum has to go home..

I'm scared.

I dont want to force this baby out. I feel so bad for getting so angry at her for wanting to be a womb squatter for a bit longer, but I am so done being pregnant!! I've loved it so much up to this point but now I would kindly like my body back and a baby to hold and love.

 

So I have some decision making to do today... Wish me luck and hopefully baby wont make us wait too much longer!!